I’ve always been a fan of good old-fashioned dive bars. You know, the places that dispense of pleasantries like televisions, urinal cakes and women, leaving behind only the pure joy and wonderment of getting absolutely hooched-up with some shifty-eyed escaped convict on a random Tuesday night. They represent the truest essence of the drinking experience.
Vedo’s Pizza, a 10-foot wide storefront on Capitol Drive just east of Oakland Avenue in Shorewood is the pizza place equivalent of a good dive bar, and I mean that in the best possible way. Don’t get the wrong idea, the place is very clean, it doesn’t reek of piss and shame, and the purveyors have all their teeth. But the spirit of the dive is alive and well.
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Beautiful as it is, there’s not much happening in Shorewood, WI. Sure, I reside a mere five-minute stroll from a gorgeous Lake Michigan beach; my neighborhood is both nicer and more safe than any other place I’ve lived; and I have coveted driveway parking just a Peter North cumshot from Oakland Ave. But (discounting the fire-bombed remains of Britain’s) there are just two bars in my neighborhood, and I’ve slowly come to realize that I — a high functioning 24-year-old alcoholic and nighthawk — have accidentally settled in the yoga and optometry district of Greater Milwaukee.