Along with two other non-pizza sides, we settled on the “Margherita” and “Fab Five” Pizzas. Our insanely hot server jotted down our order, and with a patented service industry fake laugh, an itinerary for our forthcoming journey to PizzaTown was set. After a few minutes, almost as many cocktails and an enjoyable chance to catch up with loved ones, my Milwaukee dream woman (and our pizzas) had arrived.

THE GOOD: The quality of the toppings. The Fab Five’s mushrooms were fresh and succulent, the pepperoni was perfectly crunchy, the onions were perfectly soft. The Margherita was masterfully accented with a dusting of pesto. The toppings gave my heart little boners.

THE BAD: The size… and probably the price. Mind you, these are on the appetizer menu, but still. If my whiskey-addled memory serves, the pizzas (say, 9” of goodness) ran about $12 each. I realize the rent on that fancy, Fonz statue-adjacent locale must be F’ed to death, but chi’mon, meng. Either stretch those babies an extra 2” or cut the cost. Some of us choose to spend the majority of our disposable income on energy drinks and previously viewed DVDs, not wanna-be fancy mini-pizzas.

TRY: ???

Rock Bottom isn’t a place I’d go often. But as far as semi-upscale brewery chains are concerned, its pizza is pretty good. The barely regal facade, the unavoidable house brews and canned hospitality will always be there, but the pizza will make you happy you stopped by – that one and only time.

RATING: E+

In my fairly minimal stint living in Milwaukee, I’ve been to Brick 3 Pizza more than any other pizza place in the area (twice). I hope that changes.

Originally led there by a towering banner reading “PIZZA” as the North Star lead the shepherds to Jesus’ manger like 50 years ago… or whatever, I (along with this site’s own “Ronnie” and another gent) decided to give this 3rd Street eatery a go a few weeks back. More recently, I was treated for lunch there by SportsBubbler’s own Dan Walsh. So between the two trips, I can safely say I’ve given Brick 3 a fair look.

Nestled within crawling distance of popular locations like Turner Hall and The Bradley Center, and close enough to The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel office to literally  smell the shit that is Anthony Witrado’s latest Brewers article, Brick 3 has a prime location — at least until the JS goes tits up and the Bucks move. And their food isn’t exactly shabby either.

It calls itself “authentic New York style pizza,” but I feel it falls more in line with a so-so pie by the slice place that wishes it was New York style. To be fair, I’ve never eaten pizza in New York City, but if “authentic New York style pizza” is, in fact, identical to Brick 3, then Earth should probably stop busting its collective nut over NY ‘Za already. Concluding the rant… the restaurant primarily serves pizza by the slice.

THE GOOD, er… OK: The two (entirely different) varieties I’ve had were both pretty good… like the Butter Face bridesmaid of Milwaukee pizza. “The Caprece” ($4.25/slice) blends hunks of fresh mozzarella cheese, a generous sprinkling of green olives, purple onion, balsamic-soaked red peppers, and  a thin blanket of spinach. I would, and I probably will have it again. “Mac & Cheese” ($3.25/slice) was my latest victim, which is a predominately creamy, yet surprisingly crunchy combination of two foods largely responsible for America’s rampant childhood obesity.

THE BAD: In my latest visit, I also got up in the yeasty guts of some “Cheese Sticks,” which were kind of, well, really shitty because of the lack of cheese and overly sweet marinara sauce. I’m pretty sure that sauce actually gave me diabetes. Plus, there’s not enough seating in that bitch. Trying to find a seat gave me L.A. Riot flashbacks.

TRY. I MEAN, I PROBABLY WILL: There are a host of other unique in-house creations that may bring me back to the 3rd Street restaurant, such as: “Lasagna”, “Baked Potato” and “Goat Cheese Special” pizzas.

Brick 3 is nothing special, but it’s nothing bad either. If you work in the neighborhood or have time to kill before a concert or game, why not follow the giant “PIZZA” tapestry to Brick 3 and judge for yourself?

RATING: 3/4 of a Boner