Josh Rank is a friend of the site.

About half our writers know him; I think Sto Cazzo briefly lived with him, and I can vaguely remember drunkenly playing Silver Strike Bowling against him the same night I got lost in downtown Milwaukee and puked immediately after trying to jump a parking meter (or something similar to a parking meter).

But he’s not just a DoZ friend. He’s also a hell of a writer. Since day one, we have linked his blog, These Things I Know, which is equal parts hilarious and insightful. And earlier this year, he self-published his first book, Reflection in the Crosswalk, a story of a 15-year-old boy’s death and the impact it has on a small town.

The former Appleton and Milwaukee resident now lives in Atlanta. He was gracious enough to write a guest review of a pizzeria in his neighborhood. It is below.
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Yep, I ate here.

It is one of the great ironies of Wisconsin pizza patronage that things that are taken as pizza law elsewhere–that crust should never be able to compared to any cracker (except Carson Daly), that sauce should not be the consistency of the stuff on spaghetti, that pizza should be fluffy yet crispy, not taste like it was microwaved and be made with the best ingredients–are treated as optional here. Which explains how I found myself in a basement restaurant in Minneapolis’ warehouse district at noon on Easter Sunday, eating in a place that can be easily described as “stainless-steel-friendly,” surprised as shit that the pizza was melting my face off for its awesomeness.

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You think you’re beginning to figure out life, until something comes along to totally change your opinion of it. You’re certain you know what true happiness is, until you find love and become a parent. You think you’ve reached the apex of carnal satisfaction, until your lady gives you the green light to take a run at her without a dong bag. You go through life thinking you’ve regularly been eating pizza… until you eat deep dish pizza in Chicago.

At the recommendation of DoZ reader Adam, I found myself pestering my friends to bring me to a downtown Giordano’s location when I was in Chicago last weekend. Like almost everything else in Chicago, the famous pizzeria chain had a line out the ass and the occasional self-important fuckface who threatened everyone’s enjoyment of the experience. But — also like Chicago — Giordano’s Pizza also had enough great and impressive things incorporated to make it well worth the time, excess money and inevitable frustration expended in the process.
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The town of Tombstone, Arizona has quite a bit of historical significance, most notably for Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday and the gunfight at the O.K. Corral. However, the town has burned down and been rebuilt at least twice in its history and now is nothing more than a giant tourist attraction. My brother and I were hoping to experience a well-preserved artifact of the Old West, but instead saw replicas and gift shops. We needed to eat some lunch, so we stepped into the Crystal Palace Saloon to check out the menu.
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On a recent trip to Arizona I had the chance to check out a local pizzeria that was recommended by my brother. Enoteca, located in downtown Tucson, was definitely worth the time to check out. The word “enoteca” literally means “wine repository,” and as you’d expect from any restaurant using that as a name, Enoteca definitely has a wide selection of wines. But they don’t hold back on their pizza either; I had no idea what I was in for going into this, but it ended up being one of the most interesting pizzas I’ve ever tasted.

The atmosphere at Enoteca is very laid back, yet slightly sophisticated. It’s kind of the pizzeria equivalent of the tuxedo t-shirt; it looks fancy, but it’s still casual and comfortable. The kitchen is openly visible to the left of the dining area, and there’s a small bar with a few tap beers to the right. Their menu featured standard Italian fare, mostly salads, pastas and pizzas.
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http://www.williamsburgnypizza.com/
649 GRAND STREET
BROOKLYN, NY 11211
(Manhattan Ave. & Leonard Street)

Going back to New York was exciting. Going back to Williamsburg was equally exciting. Despite seeing the most ridiculous looking kids as soon as we got onto Metropolitan I was excited to be able to eat at some of my favorite places, San Loco, Relish, Taco Chulo, and Jerry’s Pizza. Just kidding. I’d never heard of Jerry’s Pizza before.

Red Knife Lottery and I were on the hunt for pizza. My previous journey to Tony’s was a solo mission and Ashley “wanted fucking pizza.” We met up with friends Atlas Moth (who got a burger named after them at Kumas) outside of Union Pool where they were playing later that night. Nobody was familiar with the area except myself and instead of giving some sort of direction we walked around basically aimless. After a good 10 or so blocks getting out of Williamsburg and slowly making our way into Greenpoint we stumbled across a Papa Johns and made a lot of jokes. Then, another block later, we discovered Jerry’s across the street.
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443 Knickerbocker Ave.
Brooklyn, NY 11237
(718) 455-9664

New York City is known for many things. Rats, jerks, Jay-Z, and pizza. Within 2 minutes of exiting the van in Bushwick I saw 3 of the 4. Tony’s Pizzeria was mere steps from where I parked my mobile home for 2 weeks (Red Knife Lottery’s tour van). We didn’t arrive to NYC until about 1 am and Tony’s had been closed for hours. Instead the girls we were staying with, Lauren, Lauren, and Carolyn, took us to a 4 am bar some blocks away called Gotham City. On the way back I asked one of the Laurens about Tony’s and she assured me that it was fantastic.
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http://www.pizzasola.com
1417 E Carson St
Pittsburgh, PA
(412) 481-3888

I’ve never been to Pittsburgh before but Chris from Red Knife Lottery spent months in the place. When I was out with them on a short tour I asked for his expert advice when looking for a pizza joint. He didn’t know. I then looked toward the locals for a hint. Brandon, a good friend and drummer from Pittsburgh hardcore band Girl Fight, highly recommended Pizza Sola. We had already been drinking at Dee’s bar which was only a few short blocks away so I gathered some friends and we headed down.
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Village Pizza
2356 W Chicago Ave.
(between Oakley Blvd & Western Ave)
Chicago, IL 60622

I’ve been visiting Village Pizza in Chicago’s Ukrainian Village for a couple years now and I don’t know why I keep going back. I recently spent roughly 2 weeks on the road with my good friends and fantastic musicians Red Knife Lottery. They are a Milwaukee based band but their guitar player, Dan, resides in Chicago. Dan also happens to be one of my best friends which finds me in Chicago more often than I’d actually like. He, like myself and my za doctor friends, is a big fan of drinking and we get about as drunk as you can get while I’m visiting.
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I am only 23, but I feel fairly confident that when I die, I’ll probably be one of those sad bastard geezers who complains about all the shit I never crossed off my bucket list with my pal Morgan Freeman. “I never hang glided,” I’ll say. “I never did whippets out of a hooker’s ass while watching Fraggle Rock,” I’ll moan in between sputtery breaths. “I never wrote the great American novel about a boy, his dog, his peg leg, and their quest for religious freedom, free from the persecution of the oppressive Amish overlords and Phillies fans of Western Pennsylvania,” I’ll say, looking right into my grandson’s eyes as I surely scar him for life by dying right then. Read more »