Greenville: Pizza Mecca of Earth?
Spectators Sports Bar & Grill (W6165 Greenville Dr., Greenville, WI) is a place I’d driven by numerous times, but never thought I’d have a reason to stop by.
For one, it’s in Greenville, which one usually only happens upon when looking for discount Wasabi Peas, or when given bogus directions to the Fox River Mall. Secondly, the bar looks, from the outside at least, to be the type of place where Jager Bombs are considered “new” and unlicensed T-shirts bashing Brett Favre are routinely sold.
But fate, hunger and a tri-generational meeting of Mario (except not an alias) family males recently brought me to Spectators for the first time. There, I learned 1. Spectators is actually kind of a badass bar, 2. My grandpa is a dirty and hilarious old man, 3. Puerto Rican sluts on the rag are delicious (the shot isn’t bad either), 4. The secluded country bar’s pizza is that of wet dreams.
At first glance, I would’ve pegged Spectators to be the kind of place that only carried Joe’s Fox Hut frozen pizzas with a variety of toppings ranging from pepperoni all the way to sausage. But not only did the joint make me feel like a presumptive dickhead by having an assload of fresh toppings on hand, it combined them into a tasty amalgamation of penis-stiffening deliciousness on par with a first kiss on Christmas morning during Toyotathon. We decided on a works pizza and settled in for a few drinks, some light sexual harassment and a za fit for elegant bishops.
THE GOOD: You name it. As you can see above, the toppings are plentiful and fresh to death. The crust — though over abundant — was fluffy and buttery as all hell. And THE SAUCE!!! Oh, the sauce! So spicy, herb-infused and generously douched! Were I tasked in some type of Saw premise with choosing a substance to drown in, it might be Spectators’ sauce. Beyond the pizza, the drinks were cheap ($1.50 bottle of High Life!), the bar was surprisingly spacious and fairly nice inside. Somehow in the 60 capacity tavern, they found room for a pool table, upper level seating and a Moose head donning a ball cap. Plus, they employ bartenders with the hotness and flirtation skill set to enamor an entire family lineage ranging from 25 to however the fuck old my grandpa is.
You know that Richard Pryor movie The Toy? I think I can safely say that Spectators is my equivalent of that brat kid’s room.
THE BAD: The name. Spectators isn’t really a fitting name for a place with like six inconveniently-placed TVs, only one of which is a big screen. And without the apostrophe in Spectators, there’s no implied ownership. So I guess it’s not a place for sporting event onlookers to hang out, rather a bar built using the bodies, blood and bone of athletic enthusiasts. Bet it’s haunted as shit. That, and it’s kind of out of the way for anyone not living in Northern Appleton or Greenville itself. Otherwise, it’s pretty boss.
TRY: Hand tossed pizza. My dad swears by the thin crust, but he also thinks Carlos Mencia is funny. The sauce is the highlight of the pizza and the hand tossed yields the most sauce.
RATING: Cranked that shit up to 11.
