Not Jeff and/or Jim at all.
Eau Claire, Wisconsin is famous for so many things, you guys. Like…. Well, that dude from Bon Iver is from there. I heard he’s a cool guy. Also, Eau Claire is the last place to take a decent shit between there and Wausau or Madison. Seriously, just try taking a shit in Thorpe. Good luck, you poor unfortunate soul. Your anus will never forget the Thorpedo. Eau Claire’s fame is basically unfuckwithable, I’m saying.
At any rate, I recently found myself sequestered in the environs of Eau Claire’s bosom, visiting my parents (who don’t live there), my cousin (who doesn’t either), and my aunt and uncle (who do). And because I wanted to “see” what Eau Claire “had to offer” in terms of “pizza,” my cousin and I ventured to the “hip” part of Eau Claire (Waters Street, y’all) to eat at a pizza place called Jeff & Jim’s. I was informed by my cousin that Jeff and Jim were not gay lovers (at least as far as he knew), and they had a falling out at some point, which led Jim to change his name to Jimbo and move to Chippewa Falls and open his own pizza place. It’s like Eau Claire’s civil war or something.
Jeff and Jim’s is one of those pizza joints that you’re sure has to be a drug front. First off, the place is staffed exclusively by college students who all seem at least slightly buzzed on something. These college students will also take time bad mouthing other customers as you order your pizza (the dude who rang us up bitched about someone who called and asked how big a 12-inch was. My urge to make a dick joke was unbearable.). Plus their business model is fucking nuts: Jeff and Jim’s is the, as their menu claims, “The Home of The Buy One Get One Free.” That’s right, buy any size pizza at Jeff and Jims, and you can get one of the same size for free. Which means for like $13, you can get 24 inches of pizza (or for like $20, you can get 32 inches). If that doesn’t scream we only have this pizza place to fund an illegal business, I don’t know what does.
The Good: The price, more or less. The pizza isn’t bad, I guess—it’s hand-tossed, greasy, and the cheese is better than adequate—but when it’s that cheap, I can’t hate. Seriously, it’s almost cheaper than buying frozen, and for that price, Kwik Trip pizzas might not be that bad. The environment at the place is pretty cool too, given that it’s essentially in a literal hole in the wall in Eau Claire. It felt like eating pizza in a darkened alley that has an oven in the corner. The best part about the place, though, was that it has a posted occupancy sign of 20, but has a robust 22 chairs. They must have gotten a deal, and decided to keep two backups.
The Bad: Jeff and Jim’s is pretty damn greasy, to the point where it starts to come out of your holes in great reams pretty much right after eating. Their boxes can’t even contain the grease: I put my box on my dashboard when I left, and it left a huge grease stain. It was not cool. Try explaining to your mom what you’re wiping off your dashboard at 10 at night, and you’ll know what I’m talking about.
Try: Buying just one pizza. They basically refuse your right to only order one. Also, try going to Eau Claire long enough to go and eat there. Because it’s pretty hard.
Rating: Better than Ben & Jerry, worse than Bert & Ernie, but about equal to Tom & Jerry.
