I’ve always been a fan of good old-fashioned dive bars. You know, the places that dispense of pleasantries like televisions, urinal cakes and women, leaving behind only the pure joy and wonderment of getting absolutely hooched-up with some shifty-eyed escaped convict on a random Tuesday night. They represent the truest essence of the drinking experience.

Vedo’s Pizza, a 10-foot wide storefront on Capitol Drive just east of Oakland Avenue in Shorewood is the pizza place equivalent of a good dive bar, and I mean that in the best possible way. Don’t get the wrong idea, the place is very clean, it doesn’t reek of piss and shame, and the purveyors have all their teeth. But the spirit of the dive is alive and well.

Here you will not find a single artichoke heart, pine nut or roasted eggplant. There’s not even a bathroom (hold it, hippie!). Want some Canadian bacon on your za? Take that shit back to Quebec, Frenchy, they have ham. Want some dessert pizza? You would, fatty.

What you will find is some badass, bare bones pizza. I have tried the supreme and the pepperoni/sausage, both of which are delicious. A thin, but not flimsy, crust supports a perfectly spiced marinara sauce, a healthy amount of cheese and toppings, and plenty of greasy goodness.

The Good: Plain and simple, Vedo’s serves delicious pizza at reasonable prices. They do offer some sandwich options, though I don’t waste my time with such trivial endeavors when there is good pizza on the menu. The owners are cool as fuck and the place is like two blocks from my house. Probably not as helpful for you, but my lazy ass will take all the help it can get.

The Bad: Constantly wondering if the next time I go to order a Vedo’s pizza will be the time that the store has been replaced by a sewing machine repair shop or something. Please someone else discover this place so I don’t have to single-handedly keep it in business!

Try: Take that special someone out for a romantic dinner at Vedo’s. Order your pizza for dine-in, take a seat on the lone wooden chair, and watch The Simpsons on the 12-inch flat screen TV on the wall. For bonus points, do the gentlemanly thing and offer to let your date sit on your lap. For extra bonus points use some clever line like, “Why don’t you sit down and we’ll see what comes up” or “Take a seat, but mind the raging boner.”

Also, the tried-and-true pepperoni and sausage is an ideal choice.

Rating: That cross-eyed chick in apartment 2B: Not much to look at, but once you get up in her guts you can’t help but go back for more.

Shorewood, Vedo's Pizza