The town of Tombstone, Arizona has quite a bit of historical significance, most notably for Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday and the gunfight at the O.K. Corral. However, the town has burned down and been rebuilt at least twice in its history and now is nothing more than a giant tourist attraction. My brother and I were hoping to experience a well-preserved artifact of the Old West, but instead saw replicas and gift shops. We needed to eat some lunch, so we stepped into the Crystal Palace Saloon to check out the menu.

The saloon itself gave off more of an authentic vibe than the rest of the town did (on the inside, anyway). The waiters were dressed in cowboy/lawman outfits, the waitresses in burlesque/flapper garb. Slightly ruining the authenticity were the widescreen TVs playing Tombstone starring Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer. Further ruining the atmosphere was the soundtrack of modern country music floating through the bar.

Glancing over the menu, I knew I couldn’t pass up the chance to eat pizza just like Wyatt Earp had over a century ago. The only Tombstone pizza I knew was of the Wisconsin-based frozen variety, so I was anxious to see what real Tombstone pizza was all about.

The pizzas came in two sizes: the “Lonesome Me” pie (10″ personal size), and the “Band of Brothers” pie (a large 16″ za). The topping selection was sparse, just as it likely was back in the heyday of the Old West. Available options are sausage, pepperoni, ham, mushrooms, green peppers, onions, tomatoes, black olives and jalapeños. We ordered a round of Pabst Blue Ribbon (“Don’t hear that much around here,” says the waiter) and a large pepperoni and mushroom pizza.

THE GOOD: Super-thin cracker crust. I’m a sucker for it, just like Wyatt Earp must have been. The sauce was tasty and the PBR was cold. Particularly satisfying was knowing that famous Old West figures had once been sitting around eating pizza and drinking beer, just like I was now!

THE BAD: The toppings, like the selection, were lacking. I feel like Wyatt Earp would have “loaded up” his pies with as many toppings as possible, not just sprinkled on a few mushrooms and pepperonis. The awful country music really took away from the intended vibe; I highly doubt Doc Holliday listened to that shit.

TRY: Not laughing when the waiter says, in his best Wild West accent, “Would you like another Pabst there, pardner?” It’s nearly impossible, I promise. If you want a more authentic representation of the Old West, you could try wandering around in the desert for a while.

While the trip to Tombstone was a huge letdown, the pizza was surprisingly good. I don’t think I’d recommend going out of your way for it, but I suppose if you happen to find yourself in this overly commercialized tourist trap hungry for pizza, hit this place up. Just like Wyatt Earp did.

RATING: Wyatt Fucking Earp