Village Pizza
2356 W Chicago Ave.
(between Oakley Blvd & Western Ave)
Chicago, IL 60622
I’ve been visiting Village Pizza in Chicago’s Ukrainian Village for a couple years now and I don’t know why I keep going back. I recently spent roughly 2 weeks on the road with my good friends and fantastic musicians Red Knife Lottery. They are a Milwaukee based band but their guitar player, Dan, resides in Chicago. Dan also happens to be one of my best friends which finds me in Chicago more often than I’d actually like. He, like myself and my za doctor friends, is a big fan of drinking and we get about as drunk as you can get while I’m visiting.
This is where Village Pizza comes into play. I’ve never been there sober and there is a good reason for that. It’s a pizza by the slice style joint and they’re nice enough to oblige you with a free soda from their soda fountain. They are one of the only (if not THE only) places I’ve been to in my life that offers grape soda from the fountain. You’ve got your basic pizza flavor choices at Village Pizza. I usually opt for pepperoni while my typical drinking buddy usually rolls with the cheese. No fancy toppings here, plastic-like cheese (in that weird kind of good way), half hard/half soft crust, and the sauce can only be described as completely normal.
The slices are humongous. Humongous and greasy. When I wake up in the morning and put my pants on (actually they’re still on most of the time) I normally find little dark circles on my pants from the pizza dripping grease on me. The real story at Village Pizza isn’t merely the run of the mill slices. It’s the owner. The insanely racist asshole owner. It’s really unlike anything you will ever witness (think Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino). I can’t explain it and you really do have to just see for yourself.
Overall, I’ve never been unsatisfied while taking a 3-4 am trip to Village Pizza and I guarantee that I will be back. When I wake up in the morning and my mouth has that certain taste (you know the one) I definitely curse my drunken self for being so stupid… again.
The Good: Free soda (grape!!) and the fact that you know you’ve been drinking heavily. It’s cheap. I vaguely remember paying around 3 bucks for a seriously big slice.
The Bad: The staff is completely insane in sort of a scary way. The clientele is basically the same way. It may be the fact that I’ve never been in there before 1:30 am but it’s always an adventure. That almost makes it sound not bad. I guess the real bad is that taste in your mouth in the morning and the day long stomach ache you’ll be dealing with the following day.
Try: Going there when you’re not drunk and letting me know how it is.
Rating: Sex with a fat chick.
