I don’t usually go to places likes Rock Bottom. This massive riverfront palace of a bar seems too hip and swanky to be a hangout for a sparsely-employed freelance writer who periodically wears shirts with wolves on them. But after taking in a comedy show at the Pabst Theatre with some visiting relatives last weekend, we stumbled across the bridge to give Rock Bottom — a place I’m neither wealthy nor un-lovehandled enough to visit alone — a try.
Rock Bottom isn’t known for its pizza. I have no fucking clue what it IS known for, but I’m safely betting the four varieties of Za hidden at the bottom of the appetizer menu aren’t exactly the brewery’s bread and butter. But as a certified Doctor of Za marooned in a realm of “Seared Ahi” and “Mrs Wongs Shrimp Bowl”, I was inclined to tread the familiar pizzaed plains. Luckily, my bloodline was in agreement.
Along with two other non-pizza sides, we settled on the “Margherita” and “Fab Five” Pizzas. Our insanely hot server jotted down our order, and with a patented service industry fake laugh, an itinerary for our forthcoming journey to PizzaTown was set. After a few minutes, almost as many cocktails and an enjoyable chance to catch up with loved ones, my Milwaukee dream woman (and our pizzas) had arrived.
THE GOOD: The quality of the toppings. The Fab Five’s mushrooms were fresh and succulent, the pepperoni was perfectly crunchy, the onions were perfectly soft. The Margherita was masterfully accented with a dusting of pesto. The toppings gave my heart little boners.
THE BAD: The size… and probably the price. Mind you, these are on the appetizer menu, but still. If my whiskey-addled memory serves, the pizzas (say, 9” of goodness) ran about $12 each. I realize the rent on that fancy, Fonz statue-adjacent locale must be F’ed to death, but chi’mon, meng. Either stretch those babies an extra 2” or cut the cost. Some of us choose to spend the majority of our disposable income on energy drinks and previously viewed DVDs, not wanna-be fancy mini-pizzas.
TRY: ???
Rock Bottom isn’t a place I’d go often. But as far as semi-upscale brewery chains are concerned, its pizza is pretty good. The barely regal facade, the unavoidable house brews and canned hospitality will always be there, but the pizza will make you happy you stopped by – that one and only time.
RATING: E+
