There’s a reason why there isn’t an exterior shot of Cheyenne’s on the bar’s Web site — it’s built into the bottom a fucking parking ramp. Holy shit, does this place have an undesirable location. And it’s too bad because Cheyenne’s pizza is pretty much awesome. Yet the understated Appleton sports bar goes widely without notice by both the area’s hungry and its thirsty.

To give you a better idea of what I mean, have you ever seen the movie Uncle Buck? Well, you know that bitchy daughter who, beneath her cuntish reaction to her family leaving Indianapolis, you realized was going to be totally hot eventually? (She’s older than me, so it’s cool). Well, that same girl, who – all grown up - you now squeeze off to when watching Yes, Dear on days your Internet connection is slow at 2 p.m., is Cheyenne’s pizza in this simile. The decaying parking ramp, drifters and ever-present road construction surrounding Cheyenne’s is like the mom in Uncle Buck. What a unfortunate looking woman she was. Seriously, I’d rather bang John Candy… now.

Anyway, back to Cheyenne’s…
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I believe it was famed philosopher Immanuel Kant who first said, “It takes two to make a thing go right” — and I think no better pairing in history helps correctly prove this assertion than that of Frank Pierri and Pat Earle. As I mentioned in my Cranky Pat’s Review, the friends were responsible for bringing pizza to the Fox Valley in 1955. Though the pair had a falling out that made the collapse of Rome seem civil by comparison, the edifice of the old Frank & Pat’s – the cradle of Appleton’s first Za, if you will – still stands today as Frank’s Pizza Palace.
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After T. Mario and I failed to find that pizza truck, we ended up checking out the highly recommended Transfer.

Upon entering this oddly-shaped corner building at the intersection of Kinnickinnic and Mitchell, it’s pretty obvious that it’s not a normal pizza joint. For one thing, they appear to have a full coffee shop on the right hand side. The counter wraps around to the other side, which is a full bar with a fairly decent beer and liquor selection.
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Pizza sits alone in an unfuckwithable food category. Like a can cozey that says “A bad day of golfing is still better than a good day at work,” most people agree that even shitty pizza is still pretty good. So what happens when you take the power of pizza creation into your own feeble hands in service of trying to gross out your bro? Pizza vs. Pizza, in which two esteemed constables of pizza mastication, Dr. Tenderoni and Dr. Benji Mane, your two Madison correspondents, challenge each other to eat totes gross slices of the other’s creation at Roman Candle. Read more »

The words to follow chronicle a tale of anticipation, a tale of disappointment, a tale of the violent expulsion of chunky ass-piss (which I’ll generously deem “shit”), and  maybe – just maybe – a tale of a man overcoming insurmountable odds. 

*** 

After a night of binge drinking, leaning on things at near impossible angles, and – as I vaguely recall – a trip to Pizza Shuttle, I awoke Saturday morning without any much pep. That is, until I stumbled upon this bit of good news and was driven into a frenzy of motivation.

“The latest to lend support to WMSE are Milwaukee MC JC Poppe and local food cart phenomenon Streetza Pizza, which will be teaming up for a fundraiser from 10 p.m. to 3 a.m. Saturday at 1227 ½ N. Water St. Streetza will be hawking its Poppe-inspired Mad Flava Slice—topped with chorizo, jalapeno, bacon, olives, and extra cheese—and donating part of the proceeds to the station. You’ll also get a copy of Poppe’s new record, Sleep Therapy.”

What better kick in the ass than getting a delicious sounding slice of pizza, a CD I probably don’t want from a rapper I almost assuredly dislike, and slightly benefiting a radio station I’ve never listened to – ALL FOR JUST $5? There is no better kick in the ass. I was juiced.
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As your work week wraps up, so does the first full week of Doctors of Za. Though we’re still in our beginning stages, and six of our writers have yet to post anything, our Reviews database continues to grow and expand to new and previously uncovered areas. We’ve already surpassed the 100 unique visitors/day mark twice (not bad for an 11-day-old site) thanks to continual link love from our buddies Brew Crew Ball and The Daily Drink, not to mention loyal readers like you.

Also this week:
• Reportedly, Doctors of Za can no longer be accessed at The Journal Sentinel office. Was it something I said?
• Ronnie earned his doctorate of Za with a quality review of Zayna’s Pizza.
• Ronnie and I also served up a hot slice of poetic judgement at Moct’s first annual Iron Pizza Competition. 
• Brian Butch made the best regional frozen pizza commercial I’ve ever seen (note: I’ve only seen one frozen pizza commercial in my life).

Expect a Madison review from the likes of Benji Mane and Tenderoni, a Shorewood review from Tony dan Za, and a T. Mario review of my dad’s favorite Appleton pizzeria in the near future. Hopefully, Sto Cazzo – who’s currently on tour with Red Knife Lottery – will also put up a review from the road, detailing exactly how many dicks non-Wisconsin pizza sucks. So keep reading!

Sometimes the best gifts come in the most shitty-looking and florescent green packages.

Muncheez Pizza LLC perfectly exemplifies the term “hole in the wall”, not only because there are actually holes in their wall, but because it seems like a place more likely to give you scabies than a good meal. But for the Fox Cities residents that have managed to vanquish their preconceptions of  the unfortunate-looking business, there exists a unique, affordable and delicious gem in the Appleton pizza scene.
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From what I know of the guy, I like Brian Butch. He’s my age, hails from my hometown, was a Badger, and when St. Pizza, Marinara and I met him at a Brewer game a few years back, he wasn’t remotely a dick to us even though we were drunk and probably annoying as shit. 

Butch has yet to realize NBA glory since leaving Madison, but has spent time playing in the NBA’s D-League, as well as China, Germany and, currently, Greece. Even cooler, Butch is now a pitchman for Pep’s Pizza, a Wisconsin-based frozen pizza company.

The following ad has everything I love in a commercial: A local celebrity, unnecessarily switching camera angles which the actor can’t quite catch up with, NO budget, pizza, and that thing where someone shoots a basketball without looking and swishes it.

I’ve watched the commercial like 12 times, and I’ve come to the conclusion that Butch really made the shot.

Yesterday T. Mario and I attended the first annual “Iron Pizza Competition” hosted by Moct. The details were a little hard to come by, but seeing that pizza-related events don’t come around very often, we had to check it out. Even if it was at Moct (pronounced “MOST”), a place that seemingly has nothing to offer me now that no one I know works there.

Apparently there was to be some sort of competition between nine local pizza makers: Tenuta’s, Marchese’s Olive Pit, Classic Slice, Marco’s, Steny’s, Times Square, Vinchi’s, Mama DeMarini’s, and Moct (which apparently serves food now).
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Milwaukee’s Brady Street has something for everyone. In this nine block span of the East Side there are plenty of locally owned bars, restaurants, shops and cafes that cater to nearly every lifestyle.

Now, if your lifestyle involves getting completely shit-tanked at the Roman Coin on a weekly basis, there’s a pretty good chance you’re going to be looking for some pizza around 2:00 AM. And the most likely place you’re going to stumble across is Zayna’s Pizza.
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